Part 1. project 01

Part 1 The hill: 109 mauney drive

I was little, family big. All in one house. Parents young. We all loved each other. Always did. So much happiness. Best times. Birthdays. Holidays. Made my day. Still does. Close knit things. Remembered day by day. Night in 01 or 02. I can’t remember. Me and and my cousin playing cops and robbers. I can still feel the tape on my hands. We couldn’t get it off. As kids we thought the knife was the best option. It cuts through the tape like butter. Still went straight to my eye like butter. Shock set in, I could see in her face she was scared for me. I run to the living room to my grandma she was scared for me. She pushed my uncle out the door to go get my parents, he was scared for me. I sit on the couch not in pain but an out of body feeling. I hear the car. Mom rushed in, she was scared for me. Down the hill, took a left, then a right, another right and one more left. Emergency room was empty, a regular check in even though I’m bleeding from the eyes, thinking why the FUCK don’t they care. Thinking why FUCK did the ambulance never come. Thinking why FUCK why. They weren’t scared for me. I sit on the chair. It’s cold against my small legs swinging as I apply pressure to the wound. Getting the first peak of my self esteem going so low. They finally see me, can’t remember a lot of the logistics of what was said. Was sent home soon after. Arrive at my grandmas, house full, people yelling, kids running around. I see my cousin on the couch. White as snow scared I can tell. Even so young I noticed. I sit beside just hoping she doesn’t feel bad. We don’t say anything to each other. Just wanted to tell her I wasn’t scared for me I was scared for her. Shit changed in an insta…..